My brother is seven years younger than me and still lives with our parents. He’s about to go to college, and my parents said I should cover his tuition in full. I’m willing to pay even half, but not...

Dear Jez:
You must stop and desist immediately. Enabling him is so harmful in so many ways! In the front of all of this, you pay the price, but at... the end of it all, he will pay even a heavier price; it will be the end of him. Your parents are coming from a place of love, but your brother is coming from a place of irresponsibility, laziness, and maybe a little narcissism. Inevitably, he will get his ass handed to him by the people that surround him. He is destined to continue this pattern, and it will not end well for him, you, or your parents!
Future behavior can be predicted based on past behavior. He will continue this behavior into his adult life and will never learn. It could cost him his life!
If you love your brother, a lot of tough love is recommended. I'm sure your parents meant well, but they are the authors of his behavior. You didn't turn out like him. You sound like a very intelligent and responsible individual. Don't take the bait.  more

I’ve noticed that someone keeps stealing my food from the office fridge - milk, yogurts, even fruit. I found out it’s one of the top managers. I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose, he’s a bit...

Stella: This sounds like a movie in the making starring Robert DeNiro. In all seriousness, your boss knows exactly what he is doing; make no mistake... about that. Take Greg's advice one step further and bring a adequate size cooler that can fit under your desk and buy one of those freezing gel packs and keep your lunch/snack in there. Hopefully, he might get the hint and if he asks why, just tell him it saves time from having to go to the fridge and that it allows you to stay focused at your desk. He can't possibly fault you for wanting to be more productive. Of course, we both know the real reason why. If that fails, then put a little mouse trap on top of your food and see how that pans out! Good Luck!! more

Hi, can someone help me with breathing exercises to calm down? I get really nervous before interviews and don’t know how to relax. Thanks!

Frauke:
You can use biofeedback technique to bring you down from that anxiety.

Sit down and rest your arms on the armrest of the chair or just let... them hang.

Close your eyes and take a deep breathe through your nose but let your stomach expand as you breathe the air in, not your chest.

Hold it for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Pucker up your lips as if you were going to whistle. Your inhale breath should be as long as your exhale breath.
Now do it all over again.

You can use imaging to help you escape your immediate surroundings.

This technique works every time. It is what I do to bring down my blood pressure before a reading. Look it up...Bio Feedback breathing. It really works!

Buena Suerte, my friend.

♫
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Hi everyone! Can someone please tell me how to get better at giving tasks to others? Every time I ask for help, I end up redoing their work. I'm overloaded but it feels easier to just do it myself...

Erma is correct, be specific about what you need done and the steps for completion. After explaining what needs to be done, ask them to repeat what... you just said. Once you have made the necessary corrections (only if necessary to complete the task properly), ask them to repeat what you just said. I might frame like this, "OK, cool, now just to make sure I explained it correctly, pls tell me what I said." Then, if any corrections need to be made, you might consider saying, "That's great and please allow me to suggest (this is where you make the correction, it will help the employee to understand why the particular detail(s) are so important. This will allow her or him to feel as if her or his understanding of the task is important. And, more importantly, it gives them a sense of being heard.

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My boss believes that the only acceptable reason for missing work is death. No sick leave, epidemics or family circumstances can move him or change his mind. It's very difficult, especially when...

PS> pls keep in mind that while his denials are against the law, evidently, he doesn't care. He is wrong; you are right! I'm praying for you!

My boss believes that the only acceptable reason for missing work is death. No sick leave, epidemics or family circumstances can move him or change his mind. It's very difficult, especially when...

Ethan:
I'll cut to the chase; find another job that is a better fit for you! You are not going to change this person's mind about sick leave. It... doesn't matter that you have sick leave available. What matters is that he will continue to pressure employees about using their sick leave.

Obviously, this boss of yours is not readily approachable and will meet your request with an enthusiastic "no!" Deal with it as best that you can and in the interim, seek your livelihood elsewhere.

You sound like an intelligent and conscientious employee. You deserve better. All your co-workers deserve better.

I know it isn't easy finding another gig that fits your skill set in this current job market but put it in prayer! He is listening and is well aware of what is happening in your life!

Sincerely,
Lou ♫ more

I'm reaching out to the community for advice. My husband is a stylist and hairdresser. He owns a small salon where both he and I work. I act as the administrator, the cleaner and the accountant. I'm...

Dear Janice:
I'm sure that your husband loves and cherishes you. However, business is business. Just riddle him this, "If I don't do these tasks,... how much would you have to pay someone to do them?"

I have no doubt that if the tables were turned, he would see things differently. We men are hard-headed sometimes (ok, most of the time), so approach him when he is in a peaceful state of mind and spirit and try to reason with him.

But first, put it in prayer and God will give you the wisdom to do what is right!

Amen!! more