The time goes by so fast. Be with your son as much as possible. In 2 years you will have ALL day without him…

Since you are able to pay for a nanny, just find one instead of your mum inlaw.

I am working in the cafe as the cashier.... but full time busy i don t have time to go and refresh with my friends..... and the family members.. what... can i do? i can look for anew job where i can have atleast time to interact with other people and also family people? some piece of advice please more

Working from home shows the industrial work norm and culture would not apply to you. At your convenience you embark on the tasks assigned to you. ... Interference of a baby is material here. You can still hold your baby and be doing your work. That's typical of work norm.
2. Giving your baby to your mother- in- law because you are working is not a good one. Mama took care of your husband and now you want to abandon your responsibility for her? Please leave Mama to rest. Her grandson can visit her but not to make Mama babysitter.
3. The money you want to pay Mama, give it to baby homes to take care of your baby for you. Even this option is not better. Your sacrifices for the baby is a National service. Who knows if you are being given the opportunity to grow the president of your country?


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i'm dealing whit something very challenging. my husband job now is basically working whit mental health problems people. but at the moment we don't... have that much, INCOME he decided to take in a normal buy whit ADHD problems!! he sleeps in seperate entrance but weekends he is whit us.
and im moved from Europe 2 years ago did not yet went back to visit my hometown.
you guys thing its normal to live like that?
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Maybe consider putting him in a daycare for a couple of hours when he is 3 and potty trained? We have two kids and we pretty much did the same thing... when I was working from home. more

You're even lucky to be working from home, where you have a lot more control. As someone suggested, consider hiring someone to come to your home to... help. What if you had to go into the office every day? This really shouldn’t be an issue. more

You have two things to consider and decide on. First of all, either you never asked your mother-in-law why or you just didn't tell us that part. I... hope you don't hold it against her. It is very possible that she was willing to try to take care of your son, but maybe in reality the job became much harder for her than she expected. A young child takes an awful lot of energy to manage, which you are well aware of. Perhaps Mom just came to the realization she couldn't handle it. If so, I hope you do not hold it against her. Secondly, it sounds like your husband is opposed to it and maybe there's something going on you don't want to hear. Maybe it's best that you stay home and take care of your son. Rather than feel like you're getting 'stuck', perhaps it will be a major blessing to you to experience all your son's firsts and bond with him in a way that only time spent with him will allow. Many women would love to be in a position where they can be a full-time Mom, but cannot afford it. more

Dear Berta, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Why is it that when we become mothers society says we need to give up on what we want to... do but fathers don’t. Your husband also became a father and he continues with his work just like before. But now who cares for your son, is YOUR problem, why? If you were both in agreement for someone to take care of him, in this case your mother in law, then he should be okay with paying for a babysitter to watch over him at home while you continue to work. You are both a team and this is not only on you but on both of you as he is your and his son. He can continue to work and so should you. You are both a team and he should support you on this. Please sit down and talk. Hope he is able to see it that way.  more

First, I want to apologize for some of the tone deaf comments made here about what you “should” have known etc.. It is hard to arrange child care... working at home or in an office. That said, the road H….is paved with good intentions and it appears that your MIL meant well when she said yes. Say thank you and no hard feelings moving forward. Your husband however needs to step up. Whether it’s Daycare, a nanny or a part timer a jointly agreed upon solution must be be found and jointly paid for. Working from home is still working. Stopping a conference or Zoom call for potty training because you work from home cannot occur.  more

I think a structured daycare or Nanny would provide your son a better socialization oppuruinity now that he is getting older than the love that his... grandma was able to give him when he was an infant. He is likely becoming much more physical, exhausting your MIL, all which is normal growth and development. So this is great. Since you obviously can afford that I think you should look into it. Your son will likely be a bit nervous the first day or two, then he will be excited to run in, all which is normal. Enjoy this stage of his growth. It is such a great age! more

As you wish to pay your mother-in-law I believe a day care or nanny will be helpful. Goodluck.

As you wish to pay your mother-in-law I believe a day care or nanny will be helpful. Goodluck.

If you had done any research on Grandma’s taking care of children, you would have learned that these type arrangements never last. They can also cause... family disputes that fester over time. You should have never entered into this agreement. Granny probably took it on because she felt pressure from her son. But now that we’re here, you are faced with a few serious questions: does Granny hire a nanny? Who pays? Does Granny take the child to daycare? Or does the Mom (forget Dad-he’s basically a dimwit)? Does Granny give a long grace period? Is it worth your time and money to actually work? Good luck with all of this, because there is no good answer here. more

You should have been paying her from the beginning, at least something to motivate her. I guess she feels she’s stressing for nothing, and you... offering to pay her now seems too late. Just find a way to adjust your schedule, whichever chores you can’t do, leave it. Your husband should also find a way to assist you, parenthood is not one sided. more

Well Grandma has done her time raising children so its OK when she agrees to it but when she is tired or wants a change, you need to be the mmother... and have an alternate plan. thats the price of parenting. You have children, then you have the responcibility. Beside, what you are missing is so very important to your children. Your husband also has a say.  more

Go in the direction your husband guides you. Whatever you’ve been praying for, he’ll take you to it.

Daycare

Get a Nanny to come inhouse for those few hours. Your family does not understand or your mother in law just does not want to babysit. Either one is ok... because you can fix it by getting someone else more

I hold a bachelor degree in Information Technology (Software Engineering specifically). In my secondary studies in languages and literature I have an... advanced understanding in my local national Kinyarwanda language, professional business English communication and intermediate Swahili listening and speaking knowledge.

On the other hand because of how thirsty I was feeling on working with people of different kinds of nations it led me to doing numerous trainings of virtual assistance including ALX Rwanda for virtual assistance, Work Readiness at Harambee and unfinished virtual assistance at M365 Connect plus uncountable academic class projects and various final year projects I worked on which gave me a harken experience mostly on web applications development; for these I was trying to find my best fits in this world of continuous integration in technology.

However, even though I still try all my best looking for a job, whenever I apply I get unconsidered at the end of the day where I merely reach on the interview level as on top. Recently, I decided to start looking for a remote job willing to get some opportunity because I was failing to get it locally due to various aspects led by close relationships unfortunately I'm not yet to get one. Friends and those people close to me say it's still early to give up but for me I feel down and sometimes guess that I might've been cursed to never be someone whom someone can use as a successful person.


Yes, I agree with the fact that this is my first year of unemployment after university graduation while others spend a number of years however there are also those who get hired even before they finish as level as that I currently hold, so I wonder why me. Secondly, I know that many can say that it might be that I don't make it well during interviews or maybe I fail job exams however for me I believe that there is:

1. A person good at job implementation but not in. presentation.

2. A person is good in personal presentation but less in work performance.

Therefore, I've come to figure out that the world doesn't matter to what you can put on the table during work hence how you can present yourself mostly led to whom you are connected to. more