Stupid manager, family will always come first before work. Time is fleeting and no one will ever remember that you spent your life at work.

Great job turning down an after-hours event to be with your child on their birthday. Stick to your principles. Your family will remember your... participation in a major life event far more than anyone will remember what happened at that after-hours work event. Think of it this way: If your child is 10 years old, they have been alive for 3,650 days, yet they have only had 10 special days to celebrate their birthday. You never get back those opportunities to be with family on those special events. more

I don’t think you were being unreasonable. Commitment to your career is important, but so is being present for meaningful family moments—especially... something like your child’s birthday.

Occasionally, a role may require after-hours events or extra flexibility, particularly at more senior levels. But I’d be concerned if missing one event for an important family commitment is being interpreted as a lack of dedication. I’d probably have a conversation with the manager to better understand their expectations going forward.

Being committed to your career shouldn’t require proving that your job will always come before your family. Good organizations recognize the importance of both. more

I guess your boss never heard of "work life balance". If its not mandatory you have no obligaation to be there. And your commitments are inline with... your family responsibilities and values! more

Nevermind the manager,,there is life after work

Nevermind the manager, your priorities are aligned.

"After-hours work event", you don't need to be there. There is life after work, and you should live it. It is a major red flag.

There is a saying "your health, your family, your job...in that order". Your priorities are right. If the company does not understand it, you will be... better off elsewhere.
Good luck. more