Make a public apology whether or not you mean it and they will praise you for how brave you are to put yourself on blast.

Take some self development classes, increase your social skills with lessons, read books on how to become exactly what you would like to become.

Everything will be fine. Years later it won’t matter. Study hard and be happy. Don’t screw anyone over.

Are you implying you are chronically depressed? Are you referring to your personal life or work life? You question has a high "feelings" quotient.... Feelings are subjective and can distort our perception of reality significantly. I'd encourage you to sit down with an older mature individual outside your circle with some coaching/counselling experience and have a candid, fact-based conversation.  more

So sad can we be friends we can be checking on one another as we share ideas

Ouch!
Can you message me and let's talk?
I can help you get out of this better privately.
But before then I have to tell you this, one principle in... life is that your limitations affects everything else.
How you see yourself is how you will see others.
Your emotional state at every point determines your response and reaction to everything else.

Think about that more