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Anonymous member


Career development 2mo
I wanted to move to another department because there was a great opening there. But they turned me down pretty bluntly, saying my soft skills weren’t good enough. I thought I got along fine with other coworkers. Now I don’t know how to keep working if they don’t see me as a “team player”. Are people just being fake to my face, even when they smile?

1   

  • John Refila

    2mo
    Best answer

    Soft skills don’t just mean “being nice” or “getting along with people.” They include how you communicate, handle feedback, disagree, read the room,... collaborate under pressure, and build trust.

    It doesn’t mean people are being fake to you. Someone can like you personally and still think you need to grow professionally.

    I would ask your manager for specific examples:

    “I want to take this seriously. Can you help me understand what soft skills I need to improve — communication, collaboration, tone, handling feedback, conflict, or something else?”

    Then listen without defending yourself. Take notes. Thank them. That alone shows maturity.

    The goal is to shift from “Do people dislike me?” to “What behaviors do I need to change so people trust me in bigger roles?” Soft skills are learnable, and improving them can absolutely help you move up.     more

    16

  • Apollo Okello

    2mo

    Two things can be true: you do get along with coworkers, and that team had a different view of “team player.” Blunt rejections often say more about... the messenger than you.

    If you want to stay where you are, you don’t have to become someone else overnight. Maybe ask a trusted colleague or manager for 1-2 specific examples. Then you’ll know if it’s real, or just that team’s bias. You’ve got options either way.     more

    1

  • Sandra Dupre

    2mo

    When you're around people like that you never show them that you want something better for yourself never you always have to just keep a smile and... show them that you fake I'm not fake but I can show you fake but I'm really not that and like you just wait until your turn and they'll come on ask you do you want that position you know what I'm saying you got to do it that way to where you're not paying them attention only when they need the attention. more

  • john ladislaus mwumvaneza

    2mo

    Hi you cannot escape people who are jerous so keep trying you will succeed

    4

  • Obina Tom

    2mo

    Not forgetting your attitude towards company vision, mission, colleagues,supervisors etc

  • Katherine Smith

    2mo

    For sure

    1

  • Peter Wafula

    2mo

    It happened to me too and surprisingly, the department shrunk in grants after I left

    1

  • peter elweu

    2mo

    Ask them what soft skills you need to work on then work on them. This is work, don’t take it personal.

    5

  • John Refila

    2mo

    Soft skills don’t just mean “being nice” or “getting along with people.” They include how you communicate, handle feedback, disagree, read the room,... collaborate under pressure, and build trust.

    It doesn’t mean people are being fake to you. Someone can like you personally and still think you need to grow professionally.

    I would ask your manager for specific examples:

    “I want to take this seriously. Can you help me understand what soft skills I need to improve — communication, collaboration, tone, handling feedback, conflict, or something else?”

    Then listen without defending yourself. Take notes. Thank them. That alone shows maturity.

    The goal is to shift from “Do people dislike me?” to “What behaviors do I need to change so people trust me in bigger roles?” Soft skills are learnable, and improving them can absolutely help you move up.     more

    16