I’m new and have only worked at the company for 2 weeks, but the rule that everyone has to go to lunch together is really bothering me. I’d like to spend my lunch break alone - eat quietly, relax and think.
But in our team that doesn’t seem okay. One time I went to lunch by myself and five minutes later they called me saying they couldn’t find me.
How can I tell my coworkers that I prefer to have lunch alone without hurting their feelings?
Thanks

5   
  • Mary Brown

    1mo
    Best answer

    " Nothing personal, but I utilize my lunch period for personal time and to rejuvenate. " If they don't understand, thanks their problem not yours. I... would suggest that you occasionally join them for lunch, but only if you choose too and don't feel guilty. more

    9
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     more

  • i'm right with you, i don't like to each lunch with other people every day either. but I'm curious about your statement that it's a rule. is it a... company rule or just something the team you're on expects? more

  • Don't say anything, go to the bathroom, go to your car. It's easy to kill time. Get on your phone with head phones, or listen to music to drown out... the noise. Lunch isn't a long time. There easy ways to use up time. It's not that bad. You still have a job.  more

    2
  • Follow your heart, and utilize your time productive but do not exclude yourself from others thought it might be bothering ... Get them some time where... you share feelings, talks, meals ect.... but not every day.
    Without a company .... Life is nothing !
     more

  • I worked at a place where we went out as a department for lunch several times a month. Pay for your own meal. Looking back, I thought we were friends.... Placed in that situation again, I would probably not participate. They used personal information gathered during those lunches against me later. more

    1
  • Its on your own time. Period. You want to be alone to collect your thoughts, relax, or decompress.

    1
  • Its sad you feel the need to explain. Be honest. Tell them you need that time to yourself. If necessary, agree to join them 1 or 2 times a month.

    1
  • It depends how you have been brought up, no matter what you cannot run away from how you have been raised, those are the results. Do you even feel... free eating alone? No,no,no it's time you should learn to have company with others, learn new things, experience different things..... that's being a good leader. You have more time at home, more time on a weekend to be alone. more

    3
  • Really good question. Maybe just be honest and say that a new job is stressful, and lunch alone helps you to relax, but you are sure in time, you... will feel more comfortable. Tell them it's nothing personal. I think they are being pushy and should have given you the option to join when you want to.  more

  • It’s a psychological thing. You are working for a company that wants to “be family.” The science behind it is that you will have a loyalty/will... tolerate bad behavior and do it over and over again. Think of how prostitutes call their pimps, “daddy.” It creates a bond that is hard to escape. Any company that is says, “we’re family,” is scary to me. They want you to work longer hours, answer every call, even during your personal time off, attend mandatory group events…basically sucking the life out of you. So the upside is occasionally stopping by to mingle and get to know people that actually might be good friends outside of work hours…yeah… more

  • It is good practice to eat together that makes new friends.

    -2
  • The bottom line is that, going out for lunch is voluntary. You can not coerce members of staff to eat lunch at the same place. Other people prefer to... carry their packed lunch from home. What does the company's Polices or HR manual say about employee upkeep? If its the company sponsoring its employees with free lunch it is understandable. Other wise you are braking No whatsoever in not dining with them more

    2
  • Excuse yourself by telling them you're on a special diet

    2
  • 2 weeks and you have that multitude of friends! Pls grab that opportunity. It is well for better working relationship. You will know your preference... in the process. Plus more advantages. Of course you won't ignore your likes and dislikes about your colleagues. Yes privacy is ones rights and dignity. But don't make it your friends ' suspension. I wish all the best working with those kind of friends.  more

  • One thing you should know is that those your coworkers are not your friends they can act to be so caring while there just there to spot any error from... you and wait for your downfall so that you can lose your job.
    So be very careful with them tell them the truth that you can’t continue spending lunch with them.
     more

    2
  • " Nothing personal, but I utilize my lunch period for personal time and to rejuvenate. " If they don't understand, thanks their problem not yours. I... would suggest that you occasionally join them for lunch, but only if you choose too and don't feel guilty. more

    9