My Husband Can't Get a Job. Should I Divorce Him?

nytimes.com
My husband is a very smart and capable person, but he became very sick in early 2020, and he has barely worked since then, despite tirelessly applying for positions. What can he do?

We recently moved so I could go to graduate school for music, but the stress of trying to make enough money to live on (even with help from my mom) has made it nearly impossible to focus and develop my skills. It's literally ruining my life.

Currently he is doing an online master's program in computer science, but I worry that this will not improve his prospects. I don't really want to get divorced, but I think about it constantly. It's just too hard trying to support two adults as a nonprofit administrator. I can't live this way for the next 30-40 years.

Thanks for your help,

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     more

  • If you married him because of his work then you can go ahead and divorce him. what if the tables were turned around, what if it was your brother, or... maybe son in the same situation would you advise their spouse to divorce them. this is a decision you decide on your own, reflect deeply and know that for every decision there are consequences. more

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  • You have my empathy. Sometimes life can be very difficult!! You may need to relocate to a different place, since where you are living seems to have... a drought. T more

  • If you married him for money then that is no longer tenable and you know what to do.

  • Divorce is expensive and emotional. You’ll drain yourself financially, emotionally and spiritually. I don’t think it’ll help

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  • no, because would want him divorce you if you were sick? sales or customer service position from home ....

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  • I read this message with alot of empathy. We have gone through same with my wife since 2018 september to date and she hasnt asked me for a devorce... neither have i thought of devorcing her. She alo doesnt have a full time job but does forever living sales. I do part lecturing and the last payment was in 2023 todate. We have sort for assistant from all sides of our familiessometimes in vain. We have severally missed sleeping hungry by whiskers. I am an orphan she lost her Dad during Covid and her mother my mother inlaw is struggling with Cancer. We have 2 kids who actually go to school by grace of God. I lost my full time lecturing job a month after our wedding.Shes from a well up family while i come from the opposite extreme but educated though shes also a graduate. We opened up several businesses but 2 collapsed during covid. I have tried politics things went south with the little i had saved hoping that would be our spring board to life again .We are desperately looking for any job v more

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  • Should this question have been asked here? Why do we take Social media as a counselor? Well thankfully people here have been reasonable

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  • Were you married for loving and care of this togetherness? Or is because of his money? Mostly women don't ask for marriage divorce just because of... the weakness of their partner. They try harder to get their paradise there.  more

  • What if you divorce him then same problem befall you, sick and kicked from job, and at that time your husband healed and he has fantastic job. What... will you do? God has a way of testing our genuineness. Be patience please. more

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  • Aman can take care of a woman for years and there is no problem , but a woman can not feed a man for a week without complains

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  • Very sad. I have been under care by my wife for a year now

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  • if you were the one jobless,would you want divorce

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  • You divorce him, may be your the reason for his suffering

  • And are you God to say you will live for 30-40yrs supporting two adults? Are you immune to the dynamics of life?? I think you are a selfish, myopic... thinking self entitled and centred person. Just as he became sick, you as a human being can be Sick too! Just as he lost his job, even you can loose your job too! Remember whatsoever happens to another human being can also happen to you as long as you are living in this world. And just in case, if your mum is the one advising you to drop him, she's equally in the same league as you. I hope the guy is seeing through your shenanigans and gets rid off you ... we'll see if you can get an Elon Musk. Kindly be humane and grow up more

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  • So the guy was sick, he's been trying to look for a job and you still have the audacity to ask whether you should divorce him?? Did you love him in... the first place,or were you in love with his position?? Please give us a break!
     more

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  • No give him more chances

  • Seek counseling because that’s a very shallow way of thinking instead of understanding how hard the job market has been on everyone and that you’re... gambling on the fact that it will potentially get better when you can very well still be struggling in the end. You didn’t think this one through and it shows. more

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  • I am also in those shoes

  • Did you happen to ask for advice or opinion on this media before marrying him? You married him for his job?

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